December 2014 marked the end of seven years of caring for my parents through ‘end of life’. My parents were divorced and their financial situations were different from each other, so I learned from each of their situations. After having moved my father five times, he passed on 06.05.12.
Mom was on Medicare and Medicaid. I realized around the end of 2012 that a move from her home to an Assisted Living was inevitable. Mom did not want to move. As luck would have it, when a life event arose that Mom realized she couldn’t handle alone anymore; she decided on her own that it was time to move. Thank God, thats how it happened.
I moved Mom from her home in June of 2013, to an Assisted Living facility close to me. I created as much comfort and beauty in her new small room as I could and committed myself as her advocate. As time went on; Mom became a fall risk and when a bone would break, it was off to the hospital and/or rehab centers for a stay of healing. After each rehabilitation, I could never move her back to where she had been living as the rules would state she no longer qualified to remain there. I would move her to a new place that provided more care than than before.
After three broken bones and 4 moves, I had to move her to the dreaded ‘Nursing Facility’, which was harder on me than it was her. I was very unhappy with the nursing facility and moved her one more time to another Nursing Home. Within a month and a half at the second nursing home, she went from coherent and ‘ok’ to passing on 12.13.14. I think she decided she just wasn’t having any more of life at a Nursing Home … she was ready to leave this earth.
One of the toughest things about caring for parents; having been involved to the degree in which I was; is that it left a big hole in my life that I am still working on filling. I had become particularly close to my Mom in the last few years.
I had good friends who helped me through the physical moves and were great emotional support. After my parents passing, I went to several grief clinics at local hospitals and worked through a great deal of sadness. Time ….